Jeff Hardy and the Phenomenal Prank Act Two
by KaNeWHoRe2389
Summary: Jeff should not be allowed near other people's cell phones. Why? Because this is what he does with them.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note: Hello one and all! Step right up and prepare to roll over laughing…please? Lol I went for more snarkiness between Jeff and Matt and I hope the prank reference isn't too out there. And do not worry, I think in the next story The Undertake will have his revenge. Oh my oh my what will it be? Without further ado, enjoy!**_

Matt Hardy knew many things to be fact. Some of those facts were: two and two was four, the sky was blue and his brother had the IQ of all four teletubbies combined. Harsh? Please. What the hell was Matt supposed to think when Jeff decided to pull another one over on the head honcho of Deadman's Inc.?

It was only a week ago that Jeff had brilliantly decided to emblazon the now infamous words UNDIE-TAKER on the front of the Deadmans' hat. Surprisingly enough, the only outcomes of that endeavor were one) the locker room laughing amongst themselves about it now and then but never in front of the Phenom himself and two) the chilly warning that "paybacks were a bitch."

Now, those words coming from a seven foot Brother of Destruction is a scary thing but it'd been a week and no revenge on the man's part had transpired. Matt thought that was odd but was he going to complain? Hell no.

He, the older and wiser sibling, was willing to accept the fact Undertaker was eventually going to get his when the two brothers were least expecting it but was Jeff content with that? Survey says ehhhh! Wrong. No. Nein. Not a snowballs chance. The enigmatic pinhead apparently did not have the sense God gave to a goat wearing floral patterned granny panties and was going to push his luck.

Matt did not know what his brother's next step was but he knew it was another prank and how did he know? Simple. Four days after the "incident" he and Jeff were lounging on their hotel beds watching TV when Jeff briefly brought the subject up.

"Dude, that idea was my one of my best ones! But the next one? Oh Matty you ain't seen nothing yet_." _

Yeah, a statement like that didn't leave a whole lot of room for guessing what the hell Jeff was talking about, did it?

Matt thought that Jeff was shaving years off his life by doing those crazy ass stunts in the ring. Nope. Jeff's soon to be performed autopsy was going to show cause of death was sheer stupidity and/or lunacy. Gosh was Matt proud.

Speaking of which, that adorable little bro whom Matt was going to miss an awful lot just entered their hotel room, smiling like the cat that just caught the canary and was batting it with its paws.

"Guess what I got?" Jeff beamed.

Matt, who was most certainly _not_ beaming or any variation thereof, pinched the bridge of his nose and retorted,

"One half of your solitary brain cell out for repair?"

Jeff seemed to find that offensive and kindly flipped his brother the bird, with both hands no less. With the offensive jibe matched and no doubt bested in Jeff's opinion, Jeff reached into his back pocket and removed a small black object and flung, yes flung, said object at Matt. The thing struck the older Hardy and left a stinging sensation high on his chest.

Sullenly rubbing the sore spot Matt retrieved the object off the bedspread and held it in his hands .A cell phone? He turned it over and when he did he groaned. Whose cell phone was it? It was the Undertakers' of course! What other WWE superstar had a shiny black coffin right smack dab in the center of their cell phone cover?

"Jeff, do I want to know why you have his phone?"

Jeff was confused. Who wouldn't want to know why someone like him had someone like the Taker's cell phone? He walked over and took it back. After powering it on and fiddling for a few seconds, he turned the phone outward letting Matt see the display screen. It was showing the choices of ringtones.

Oh _ass._ This was on a whole new dangerous level of _ASS_.

Thinking quickly, Matt tried to reach out and snatch the phone from his brother's grasp. His failure level? Miserable. Jeff hightailed it into the bathroom with the phone and proceeded to lock the door behind him.

_Shiiiit_. Oh well, he could just tackle the bastard when he gets out and wrestle it away from him. He was a professional wrestler for crying out loud, it will not be that hard. Matt should have known better.

That plan shook its ass in his face seven minutes later when Jeff emerged without the phone. Matt's brow furrowed as he looked over his brother, looked for signs of the device. And wouldn't you know? The perv had shoved Taker's (TAKER'S!) phone down the front of his pants so the crotch was now bulging more than usu-oh god changing subject.

Jeff was smirking because he knew he had won. Matt was not going to go in and retrieve the phone lest he risk grabbing something that was most certainly not rectangular and cellular-like. Knowing he was victorious in the first stage of his plan, Jeff plopped down onto one of the beds and just sat there smugly. Looking up at Matt, Jeff asked,

"Questions, comments?"

_Fuck it. _

"You don't want your lifeless body to ever be found, fine. I do have a question though."

"What?"

"Are you at least going to wipe his phone off before giving it to him?"

That got a Hardy laugh until the younger man actually seemed to think about it. Leaving his spot on the bed and making his way over to their closet, he picked up the unopened bottle of fabreeze that lay forlorn and forgotten in the back of the clothes closet. Removing the phone from places that Matt rather not think about, he then proceeded to douse the defenseless thing with the meadow-fragranced substance. He then returned it to his back pocket for safe keeping

Matt didn't know what to do except to start banging his head against the wall behind him.

"Aww Mattie don't be like that." Jeff teased.

"Why not?" Matt asked between hits number four and five, "I'm just getting a head start on what he's going to do."

"You are forgetting one important thing. The man doesn't get mad…well for long. He gets even." Jeff reasoned.

Yeah, that's sooooo freakin comforting. _Not._

Matt ceased and desisted the quickening of his demise. Jeff was right. Taker would get them back in the future his own way and that was that. He also had to admit, he was curious as hell to know what ringtone Jeff had chosen. He asked.

Jeff shook his head.

"You'll see. Tomorrow night after the show."

To Matt this translated as _tomorrow night's show better kick ass because it's our last one. Oh joy. _Fate though seemingly wanted to send the Hardys to their maker much quicker than was comfortable

_Knock knock _


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, Hardy open up!"

That was the Undertaker at their door. Or Death, either one really.

Matt's face went from panic to panic and shock as Jeff sauntered over to their door and reached out to undo the locks. While his pride took a one way ticket out the window, Matt hurried to the wall behind the door and... stayed there. Jeff's facial expression spoke loud and clear: _pussy. _Rolling his eyes, Jeff opened the door and smiled at the man on the other side.

"Evening Mark, how can I help you?"

Mark just raised an eyebrow. How could the infuriating little skittle fairy be so calm when he did what he did a week ago?

"Have you seen my cell phone? I can't find it anywhere and I checked with the wrestlers on the other floors. They haven't seen it either."

Jeff put on a concerned and politely clueless look.

"I'm sorry man, you got me. I didn't see a cell phone lyin around anywhere."

Mark stepped a little closer and looked Jeff right in the eye.

"You sure? I'd hate to find out differently and then have to beat your skull in Hardy."

On the outside Jeff kept his cool but the man had stressed the word hate in a way that implied he would feel the exact opposite. Matt noticed that too and nearly let out an unmanly squeak.

Nearly.

"No man, I haven't seen it but if I do I'll find you."

Mark sized him up for a few more seconds but then nodded and turned to walk down the hall. Jeff made sure he was around the corner before shutting the door. Matt had sweat beading on his forehead and Jeff just grinned.

"Relax man, we're cool. We're good. Tomorrow he will get his cell phone back, but certainly not from me. Everything will be fine."

Gee, Matt couldn't wait. However that was a long way from then and he was tired. Jeff was too and they both decided to hit the sack. Before falling asleep, they each wished the other a good night and within the hour, both were out cold.

_**Next day**_

The next morning came and went without much significance. Both brothers got showered and dressed then headed down for a continental breakfast of waffles, fruit and orange juice. They were seated at a small table and took little notice of the other wrestlers trickling down from their rooms to take advantage of the free breakfast.

Both Hardys were in the middle of polishing off their waffle delights when Glenn and Mark settled into a table a few feet behind them. They didn't think anything of it until they heard a snippet of the two men's conversation.

"It's not funny Glenn! I have looked all over God's green earth but I haven't been able to find the damn thing anywhere."

A snort and then a sleepy shrug was Mark's only response. Well gee that was helpful. He had been looking for his cell phone and the stupid thing couldn't be found anywhere. He had checked the obvious places like his suitcase and the hotel room. Nothing.

He even asked other wrestlers and still nothing. If he didn't find it in the next two days he was going to shut the service off and get a new one. He didn't want to but if he had to oh well.

At their table Jeff was nearly choking on his food in the effort of containing his laughter. Matt was trying unsuccessfully to hide behind his napkin. The conversation didn't stop there.

"..You think someone took it?"

Mark shook his head.

"Who would be stupid enough to do that?"

"Maybe it was the same person who labeled you as a thief of clothing that was of a more…sensitive nature."

Mark was about to tell Glenn to shove it up a sensitive part of his anatomy when their conversation came to an abrupt halt. The sound of screeching chair legs could be heard a few feet away. They turned to try and see who was making such a quick exit but the exit was just that and they were too late. Both men just shrugged and continued on with their meal.

Back in their room, Matt was laughing nervously and rubbing the back of his neck. Jeff on the other hand...well oxygen was really becoming an issue. Matt took a seat on the bed and let Jeff ride it out. Finally the younger Hardy settled down.

"Dude I can't wait for tonight. It's gonna be great."

Matt disagreed for the most part but didn't say so. Nothing was going to change Jeff's mind.

The rest of the morning was spent doing a light workout in the hotel gym. Jeff had one thing on his mind though. One more important part of his plan needed to be put into action. He headed back down to the lobby where Hunter, Shawn, Glenn and a few other superstars were lounging about.

Hunter, Shawn and Glen were spaced out on a long couch and that is where he joined them. When sitting down he made sure that Mark's cell phone slid easily out of his back pocket and down into the cushions of the couch. He then chatted with the group for a little while. When he decided that was long enough he got up and stretched.

"Hey Jeff, what is that behind you?" Shawn asked.

Jeff put on a confused expression.

"What do you mean?"

"I think you were sitting on something."

Jeff feigned surprise and reached down between the cushions. Standing back up Glenn was the first to speak.

"Hey that's Mark's cell phone. He's been searching like crazy for it."

Jeff smiled and handed it to Glenn.

"Thanks. I'll give it to him when I see him next. He'll be relieved."

Jeff nodded and said goodbye to the group.

_Damn I'm good._


	3. Chapter 3

_**Later in the evening**_

Back in the hotel room Matt was taking a nap so Jeff just let him be and watched TV with the volume low. When Matt woke up they got ready and headed out to get some dinner and then onto the arena.

Upon arriving the brothers headed to the locker rooms and started to gear up. The time came for Matt's first match and Jeff watched on the screen as his brother effortlessly beat John Morrison. There were cheers and good natured ribbing.

_It was going to be a good night in more ways than one _Jeff though with a grin.

A few minutes later Matt returned from the ring and eased into a seat next to Jeff. Jeff congratulated him and then had to leave for his own match. He was going against CM Punk and he won. He returned to the locker room. Now he was even more pumped than before and couldn't wait until he put the final part of his prank into action. He just had to wait until the signal...there it was.

Glenn was currently talking to Mark and Jeff wanted to pump his fist in victory when he saw Mark's phone exchange hands. _Bingo._

Jeff, who had gotten Taker's number when he had first stolen the man's phone, started dialing the number. One second...two seconds...three seconds...and Matt froze. _WHY did Jeff have to pick that ringtone?_

"YOU WILL RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!"

There was dead silence in that room as Eric Cartman's voice pierced the air. The superstars stared in shock at the Deadman. The man stared at his phone in disbelief. That had _not _been his ringtone the last time he had his phone. It had been limp bizkit's "Rollin" the last time he checked.

He raised his head and looked over at Glen. Glen was damn near biting a hole in his lip to keep from laughing. Mark started towards him and Glen held up his hands, backing away.

"Mark don't look at me. I did not screw with your phone. But now that I think about it I remember who 'found' your phone this afternoon." He tipped his head in the direction of two chairs that had previously been occupied by Victim One and Victim Two.

Mark looked from the empty chairs to the doorway and what he saw made his jaw clench and his blood boil. Jeff fuckin Hardy was smiling at him and the fucker had the nerve to wave his own cell phone at him. Matt, while trying to hold back his grin, at least had the decency to look like he knew the unholy amount of pain and suffering that awaited both Hardys.

Mark charged towards the door. The smile on Jeff's face just got wider as he jumped away from the doorway and ran full speed down the hallway, his brother hot on his heels. Glenn, who had given up any pretense of hiding his laughter and was now doing so freely, held the Phenom back.

"Whoa whoa relax dude. You don't seriously want to hurt them, do you?"

The look on Mark's face would have put Matt, Jeff _and _Glen six feet under.

"Come on what's better...getting mad or getting even?"

Mark tried pushing passed Glenn one more time before giving up. The other superstars in the room were oddly silent and no one was looking at him. He growled once and stormed out of the room. The room exploded into laughter then. They couldn't believe Jeff had pulled one over on the Deadman again.

After the show, Mark and Glen were back in the hotel room they shared. Glen was calmly flipping through channels and Mark was staring straight ahead. Well staring wasn't the right word. Glaring fit though.

Glen knew better than to needle the man when he was this pissed but he couldn't help it,

"That was a pretty clever choice of ring tones. I think you can even agree to that."

Huh. Imagine the sound Satan would make if God told him he had to close Hell and open up a Build a Bear store. That is the sound Mark made.

"Hey, I know you will think of some way to get them back."

Suppose God told Satan that he could light the stuffed teddy bears on fire in front of the children. That is the sound Mark made.

Alright then. Now that Glen was somewhat sure he would not have to sleep with both eyes open he crawled into his own bed and turned off the light. Mark was still seething and staring into the darkness but with an unholy smile on his face. He had an idea. A wonderfully sinister and awful idea. The next few days were going to be interesting.


End file.
